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Emotional
Alignment
(wellness for everyone)

CORE and the 4Sight Model have been developed over the course of several years. To develop them further and prove their efficacy I have regularly offered personal development / life coaching services. This is the resulting system used to guide people. If anything is unclear or missing, please let me know. I am always happy to refine the content to enable self-help.

The Process
CORE (for Commit, Observe, Reflect and Edit) is the method one follows to resolve conflict. In effect, it is how we are supposed to correct behavioral/mental health issues, although that is a more involved topic that we won't get into here. The corresponding flow-chart includes all the necessary knowledge and steps one needs to go through. You can use it interactively or go through it from beginning to end. We suggest you do the latter first to ensure you are doing everything correctly, have all the supporting skills and agree with the implicit requirements that all people should adhere to.

Implicit requirements may sound very philosophical, but we include it for a very important reason. If, for example, you don't explicitly agree to follow the Golden Rule, well, you can treat people however you'd like and not be accountable to them. Of course, we'll point out in that case that someone could abuse you without recourse as a result. Regardless, everything else in this process is predicated upon that which is included in the Commit tenets, and we know it is best that all issues are considered in order for a society to function properly. Okay, enough with the intellectual stuff. Back to the orientation.

At the top upper-right of each page you will see a "Flowchart" link as well as a "Next". The latter is what you will use to go through the process step-by-step. Each page will ask a question to ensure that you have completed and agree to its content. In effect it is the test you should pass to move on to the next topic.

When you are ready you can move on to Commit although you may first want to understand the theory behind our approach. More below.

The Four Social Emotions Theory
Emotions play a critical role in how we interpret and give meaning to the world. They enable us to determine our role and also drive how we contribute. Normally, this information becomes ingrained in our higher-level reasoning, greatly reducing these two inputs in adulthood. However, flaws in their development during our first three years that are reinforced during youth cause problems later on as they negatively impact our interpretation. In other words, they skew how we see reality which then causes imbalance in the social dynamic.

Four emotions combine to perform this interpretation of the world; guilt, shame, fear and worry. They enable us to be social creatures. They ensure we do the right thing and don't do the wrong thing. And it is flaws in how we learn them - our under or over-experiencing them as adults - that cause conflict. That's because conflict is the difference between what reality is and what we feel it is. So when we don't interpret reality accurately, the misalignment causes a negative sensation between what we feel and what we think.

Our mental health is, in effect, the combined accuracy with which these four social emotions are employed. That health can be plotted along a spectrum with some threshold below which behavioral problems become problematic. As an aside it is worth mentioning that guilt and shame determine how we look at the past and, therefore, perceive the present. Problems with them manifest in what is traditionally referred to as depression. We call them self-esteem issues. Fear and worry determine how we plan the future. Problems with them manifest in what is traditionally referred to as anxiety. We call them self-confidence issues. Also, severe issues in any one area or comorbidity can lead to personality and even psychotic disorders. Finally, over-experiencing these emotions tend to cause problems for the individual while under-experiencing them causes problems for those around them.

One thing we need to note is that the definition of these emotions and how one determines if they have issues can be ambiguous. For example, a person who over-experiences shame doesn't necessarily realize that is what is going on with them. However, it is through analysis of the resulting behavior that one can see how this dynamic plays out. Accordingly, during the 4Sight Model analysis we offer specific questions to help self-identification which bring us to our final point.

All the conflict in our lives is driven by issues with the four social emotions. That is compounded by the fact that no one has this information, so we usually don't realize what is going on let alone have any idea what to do about it. This is where our CORE system comes in. It is, essentially, the conflict resolution process you would follow to determine what flaws are present - in you or in others - and how to handle them. You don't necessarily need to know what your issues are now but feel free to jump ahead and do the self-analysis. There are plenty of commitments and base skills that need to be in place before you can actually get to the negotiation steps. Regardless, this is meant to be an interactive reference system, so feel free to go at your own pace and direction.

Good luck. And let us know if you have any questions. This is an early version of the online system so improvement will be forthcoming.

You can try out our new Four Social Emotion Analysis tool or move on to COMMIT.

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