We all need to find our voice.

Is your complaint respectfully acknowledged?

Ensure that you are heard. Get their attention. Look them in the eye. Wait for a pause. And let them know what you are thinking and feeling. Be respectful and civil, but, by all means, be direct and honest. Most importantly, ensure that they say yes - out loud - to confirm they heard what you said. At that point, that is the best you can do. Their response will show you how they feel although it has to start with their (verbal or written) acknowledgement.

There are two ways this can go. The preferred scenario is that they consider what you say and acknowledge what they did. However, there are times when people do not want to own their actions or statements. Be on the lookout for the 5 D's, the ways in which people try to avoid accountability.

Keep in mind that when a person is justifying any undesirable behavior - somewhere along the line - a cognitive distortion will be used. That is the logical fallacy that bridges reality - facts, logic and truth - with their irrational feeling. If you get to the point where they explain their position, this is the key to resolution. We cannot rely on others to recognize the error of their ways. However, if they are good people and respect us, we may be able to help them understand the root cause driving it all.