There is a 60's song with the line "let's forget about tomorrow because tomorrow never comes". The concept has a correlation we can use to better understand how cognition works. We call it "there's no such thing as the present".

By the time we are aware of something in our subconscious, it has already occurred. In fact, things like vision and audio have buffers to hold onto their inputs as we process them. This delay has a significant impact on our perception because our subconscious works faster. As a result, by the time we are formulating an explanation our memories and experiences have reported back and are adding a physical sensation to influence that analysis.

We now know there are two emotions that drive the perception of the present, shame and guilt, how we value others and ourselves respectively. We also know that there are two emotions that handle the steps needed to enact the future; fear and worry, how we make decisions and follow-through respectively. Combined, these 4 social emotions determine ALL our behavior. Accordingly, when there is any problem with that behavior - ours or someone else's - one or more of them is to blame.

You can be guaranteed that whenever conflict is present, whatever the guess for what is going on, at the root is emotional misalignment. Talk to that root and you have a chance at resolving said conflict and preventing reoccurrence. And not just the one symptom at hand, but potentially a whole array of maladaptive actions that are driven by and masking their internal source.