Sometimes we do not have the choice and have to work through an issue when we or someone who we are with is agitated. However, if there's one thing we learn from the observe chapter, let it be this. We don't think optimally when we're overwhelmed with feelings. Given our history we can be programmed to fight. Fear of abandonment, desire to oppose, personal insecurity, dismissal of others and more all work to push us to continue when we are in fact moving sideways and talking at each other, or worse, devolving.
The goal is to have a conversation. That starts with a simple question. Can I do that? Our limbic system is a very powerful motivator for very good reason. Up until civilization started some twelve thousand years ago, we were focused on surviving. Threats were always present and if we didn't have the ability to pool all our faculties to monitor our situation, our very survival was at risk.
In the modern world, however, physical threats are largely not an issue, unless, of course, we choose to remain in such a situation, a conversation for another time. Nonetheless, when survival is not an issue, nuances become big and feelings loom large. An emotional threat in the absence of real conflict can siphon our attention and put us in fight / flight / freeze mode. An attack FEELS present. Accordingly, it is super important for us to realize that and not try to resolve it while the feeling is strong.
In Example...
Supplemental information for practical application of the knowledge learned in the lesson. Note: this content is optional and not part of the test
Select the button to load the corresponding video
As we want to improve this "In Example" section, feel free to eMail us questions about how to use the knowledge covered in the lesson such as how to overcome resistance or how to improve the content.
