Wait for your rational mind to return when emotions are getting the best of you.
Learn how to wait for resolution.
Transcript
There is only one way to solve a heated conversation. Continue it after we have cooled down.
The trick in this situation is to recognize our body is misleading us. And the best way to do that is to get whoever it is in your face out of it. Think of two boxers in the ring. Even pugilists realize that when they get locked together, they must be separated and go to their separate corners to start anew. Without the action, the abatement of conflict becomes highly unlikely. The question then becomes for how long? Here's the guidance.
First, count to 7. Still upset? Then wait 7 minutes? Still? 7 hours then 7 days if need be. It's really all about reconvening to see if cooler heads can prevail. If not, then you need more time. So what do cooler heads look like?
Well, it is mostly about what it sounds like. You know what it's like to have a regular conversation. Voices are low. Language is civil. Pace is balanced. Each person gets their turn. A comment is made and a logical response is returned. Essentially, it is an almost dry occasion.
The point here is that we really know what constructive interaction does. It arrives at a mutually agreeable conclusion. The concept of "agreeing to disagree" only makes sense when we are talking about choices and, even then, there is a way to compromise if you want, with want being the key. Sometimes, a person doesn't want that to happen.
In the meantime, beating each other up with hostile statements just doesn't make sense. If you want that, get it in a ring but that's a good segue for one last comment. Rings have refs. If you are not able to have that civil conversation, find a mutually agreed to person to help you. Sometimes their presence alone will keep you on your good behavior. Regardless, make sure you return to discuss the inciting event.
